Nickelodeon Buys Andre Drummond Sex Tape

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Being one of the most dominant centers in the NBA has its perks, but off the court Detroit Pistons seven foot center Andre Drummond has found himself in some controversy. According to our source Fish Nelson, a sex tape with Drummond and his girl friend Jennette McCurdy from the Nickelodeon show “I-Carly,” has been leaked, after Drummond’s teammate Kyle Singler hacked into Drummond’s computer, stole the file, and sold it to Nickelodeon for a reported $45.

The sex tape will air on Nickelodeon sometime around the new year, at 9pm, which is considered “late night” by Nickelodeon’s standards. When asked to comment on the tape after the Pistons beat the Heat in Miami, Drummond responded, “I don’t care that we be beat the Heat. I’m just excited for everyone to see this tape. Am I pissed at Kyle for going on my computer? Not really. I was going to sell the tape eventually, and Kyle is legit broke. I’m glad I can help a teammate out financially, even if its at the expense of my relationship and social status. I mean come on $45 dollars for a video? That’s a great deal for Kyle!”

According to our source Fish Nelson, whose seen the tape, says the video is approximately 23 minutes long, and consists of Drummond crying, ordering Chinese food, and then finally getting it in. “Drummond was on a mission, and that position was missionary,” said Fish Nelson who watched the tape ironically while eating chicken & broccoli with his pants off.

By Kyle Simon

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