Cavaliers Looking To Trade Andrew Bynum For A SodaStream

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It’s tough times for the Cleveland Cavaliers right now.  A team that once had high playoff hopes is now sitting at 10-21 with no chemistry and a wasted first pick in last year’s draft. (Anthony Bennett is averaging just 2.6 points and 2 rebounds per game).  Things have gone from bad to worse recently when the gambling, stripper-loving, dumbass Andrew Bynum, was suspended indefinitely for actions detrimental to the team.  Now Cavs general manager Chris Grant is shopping around, trying to find trade value for Bynum.  As it turns out, there isn’t much value at all.  However, as of this morning, things are starting to look up for the Cavaliers’ staff and players.

It has been reported by our own Fish Nelson, that the Los Angeles Lakers have an offer on the table for Cleveland.  Supposedly there is a SodaStream somewhere in the Lakers break room that Cavs owner Dan Gilbert has had his eye on for some time.  Aware of Gilbert’s envy for the carbonating soda machine, Lakers general manager Mitch Kupchak called the Cavs organization and made an offer that would satisfy both sides involved.  The Lakers would get the rights to center Andrew Bynum, therefore being able to pair him up with Pau Gasol for entertainment and great failure.  The Cavaliers would get the coveted SodaSteam, a home carbonation product that allows you to turn water into any of your favorite cola beverages.

The trade is still being negotiated and the Cavs organization are still open to other SodaStream-related offers.  As long as you have a SodaStream, you might be able to trade it in for a seven-foot center with knee/mental issues.  The Utah Jazz have reportedly offered Cleveland two SodaStreams and guard Gordon Hayward for center Anderson Varejao.  It’s a weird deal but the SodaStream is pretty great.  Look out for more reports of SodaStream offers for the Cavaliers.

By Danny Dagorn

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