NFL Decides Beating Child With Stick Actually A Bad Thing

NFLStick

 

After weeks and weeks of debate amongst the higher-ups, the NFL has decided to suspend Adrian Peterson for the remainder of the 2014-2015 season, concluding once and for all, that hitting your child repeatedly with a stick until they are scarred is, in fact, a pretty bad thing. Roger Goodell addressed the media this morning to confirm the suspension:

“It’s a tough call to make, but after carefully dissecting this tricky predicament for only a few months, we believe that this is bad. A majority of us here at the NFL really believe that hitting your child over and over and over and over and over again with a wooden stick, to the point where the child’s doctor has to speak up about the situation, because the scars on his leg are visible evidence of abuse, is pretty bad. Like not knocking-your-wife-out-in-an-elevator bad, but pretty bad. Not running-a-dog-fighting-ring bad, but pretty bad. Like, not shooting-and-murdering-three-guys bad, but still…pretty bad.”

While some may disagree with the suspension of the Vikings’ running back, and in some cases, actually commend Peterson for disciplining his 4 year-old (the same 4 year-old with scars on his butt, legs, and scrotum) , the NFL has taken it’s firm stance. Goodell ended his press conference with a little relief:

“Hey, at least we’re not talking about concussions or post-career suicides anymore! Am I right?”

by Danny Dagorn

 

 

 

 

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