FIFA: 2026 World Cup To Be Held In Qatar Again

FifaCorrupt

It was announced today that the 2026 FIFA World Cup will be held in Qatar. The country famous for their rich soccer history, will be granted another World Cup, not long after being awarded the competition in 2022. Every soccer fan around the world cheered and celebrated as humble FIFA President Sepp Blatter made the announcement.

Just as the winning bid was made public, representatives from other inferior soccer countries like Spain, France, Germany, Argentina, Italy, USA, Holland, Belgium, Uruguay, Brazil, Portugal, Chile, Mexico, and England gleefully shook hands with representatives from Qatar, the first country that comes to mind when anybody thinks of soccer.  The representatives from Qatar then jumped for joy as they made their way to the stage to rightfully accept their winning bid.

“I think we can all agree that between the relatively cool climate, the brilliant football legacy, and the completely legal labor practices that will go into the construction of the stadiums, giving Qatar back-to-back World Cups just makes sense.” Blatter stated. FIFA are also looking forward to the 2030 World Cup, where it seems countries like Qatar are favorites to win the bid for soccer’s biggest tournament.

by Danny Dagorn

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Ricky Rubio Forgot Driver’s License Last Night, Couldn’t Get Into Local Sports Bar

ricky-rubio

The life of an NBA player isn’t all glitz and glamour.  Sometimes even being a well-known athlete can’t help you in simple social situations.  Nobody knows that better than Ricky Rubio, point guard for the Minnesota Timberwolves.

Last night in Minneapolis, the 23 year-old couldn’t get into a local sports bar with his teammates.  Before leaving his apartment for a night on the town with Kevin Love and Alexey Shved, Rubio grabbed his phone, his keys, his wallet, and put on his sexy red leather jacket.  Unfortunately, Ricky completely forgot that his driver’s license was in his other leather jacket.  It’s also very unfortunate that his appearance is one of a seventeen year-old teenager.

The star point guard arrived at Tuggs Tavern expecting a fun night with no restrictions, but when the Spaniard got to the front of the line outside of the bar, he opened up his wallet and realized his troubles were just beginning.  Not only did he forget his license, but the bouncer outside of the bar did not believe that the 23 year-old pro basketball player was over the age of 21.  “Son of a bitch!” Rubio exclaimed.  “I forgot my license, but you know me right?!  I’m Ricky Rubio.  I literally play on the Timberwolves” he said to the bouncer.  The bouncer outside of Tuggs was not very impressed.  “There’s no way you’re over fifteen.” the bouncer replied.

The two argued for over fifteen minutes.  Meanwhile, Love and Shved were elbow-deep in Irish Car Bombs and tequilla shots.  Eventually Rubio gave up and got a cab back to his apartment.  The night ended with Rubio watching Rules of Engagement and eating a Kid Cuisine chicken nugget dinner.  Alexey Shved’s night ended with a DUI.

by Danny Dagorn